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This is an excerpt from the 15 Footer I wrote today for Hardwood Paroxysm. Hope you enjoy:

I TiVoed the future this morning, fast forwarded through the afternoon soaps and caught a few minutes of Maury Povich (three not-the-fathers and one you-ARE-the-father). I did this so I could give you Allen Iverson’s pregame speech to his new old team, the Philadelphia 76ers. It went something like the above:

“This is OUR team, Allen. To join it, you must give us shots.” – Andre Iguodala.

“I give shots to Philly. And if this is YOUR team, why does it sign me? “ – Allen Iverson.

“We didn’t come here to play with you.” – Willie Green.

“And the Nuggets are too good!” – Sammy Dalembert.

“76ers of Philly, I am Allen Iverson.” – Iverson.

“Allen Iverson is 6’2”!” – Jrue Holiday.

“Yes, I’ve heard. Takes shots by the hundreds. And if he were here, he’d destroy the Nuggets by 20 points with crossover dribbles from his eyes and three-point plays from his arse. I AM Allen Iverson! And I see a whole roster of athletic freaks… and of course, you too, Willie Green… here in the defiance of losing. You’ve come to play as winners and winners you are. What will you do without wins? Will you play in the halfcourt?” – Iverson

“Play in the halfcourt against that? No. We will run. And we will keep pace.” – Jason Kapono.

“Aye, play halfcourt and you may lose. Run and you may keep pace – at least a while. And signing autographs at a Read To Achieve event many months from now, would you be willing to trade all of your points from this day to that for a chance, JUST ONE CHANCE, to come back here and tell Denver that they may push the tempo but they’ll never take this victory! – Iverson. (Everyone thinks it over as Iverson doesn’t get the rousing roar he expected from his new teammates)

“No, we want to run with them. We don’t want to give the ball up for you to prove you still have it.” – Thad Young anti-climactically responds.

“Well, fuck it; I’m still on the team anyway. Pass me the ball.” – Iverson.

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