| 24 February 2009
Outside of TiVo and the internet, I have no problem declaring the Wii as the greatest inventions of the past 20 years. It has motion controls that allow for a new gaming experience. It promotes more activity while playing. And most importantly they've introduced the Virtual Console which allows you to download old Nintendo games like Super Mario Bros., Metroid, Legend of Zelda and even old Sega games like Sonic the Hedgehog. Needless to say I've spent more than my fair share of money downloading these old classics and countless hours playing them. Because I can't function without thinking of basketball even when I'm playing these games, I began wondering which video game characters best represent current NBA players. Since everyone loves comparing things to other unrelated things, here are my findings from hours of research (read: playing Wii and finding a way to file my Virtual Console purchases as a job-related write-off on my income taxes):
Samus Aran (Metroid) = Vince Carter
Both are known for their leaping ability. Samus must jump out of hostile environments in every Metroid game. Carter made his way into national attention and countless SportsCenter highlights because of his amazing dunks. Both have numerous tools at their disposal. Samus has arm cannons and missiles, and Carter has long jumpers and can finish around the rim. Both were loved by their respective communities and thought to be the coolest characters out there. Then we found out what lay underneath the cool exteriors of Samus and Vince: a woman trying to act tough.
Sonic the Hedgehog = Dwayne Wade
This is a little bit of a cheat because Sonic is a Sega character, but this comparison is too perfect. Sonic was the face of an entire company, yet he wasn't nearly as popular as his Nintendo counterpart, Mario. His games may have even been better than Mario's games, but they never got the same recognition or attention. Everyone knows Wade is good, but he doesn't get the same attention that other players (i.e. LeBron/Kobe) get. He and Sonic both have ridiculous speed and moves that very few can duplicate. They are also very sure of themselves and never back down. Plus both will not rest until they get what they want. In both cases they'll do whatever they can to collect rings.
Mike Tyson (Punch Out!!) = Ron Artest
Couldn't Ron Artest be a character in Punch Out!! at this point? He is just as burly and intimidating as Iron Mike. He says and does some outrageous things like Tyson. I wouldn't want to fight either of them, and I'm sure Little Mac would agree. I can't prove this but I'm pretty sure he forecasts his punches with his blinking patterns just like Tyson. We'll have to get confirmation from that unlucky Pistons' fan on that last point. And in case it actually needs mentioning, both are bat s*** crazy.
Kirby = Josh Howard
Neither of these guys are superstars, but they are well known in basketball and video game circles. That isn't the reason why I'm comparing them. It is much simpler than that. Josh Howard likes weed. Kirby just walks around and eats things that he sees. It is the ultimate stoner allegory in video game form.
Double Dragon = Brook and Robin Lopez
The Lopez Twins are just like Billy and Jimmy from Double Dragon. They are both brothers. They look exactly the same but wear different colors and have different hair. Both Brook and Robin and Billy and Jimmy play better than you thought they would and are actually quite entertaining. I fully expect the Lopez Twins to spawn their own television show just like the video game did. Granted Brook and Robin aren't as tough or intimidating as the Double Dragons, but they do have the uncanny ability to make you want to punch and kick something while watching them.
Toad (Super Mario Bros) = Nate Robinson
Both Robinson and Toad are undersized. Both are annoying and really serve no purpose to the game of basketball or Mario Bros. Both have surprising jumping ability. Both should be nothing more than sidekicks to the real main characters. Unfortunately Robinson and Toad keep showing up all the time and we can't seem to get rid of them.
Pit (Kid Icarus) = Kevin Durant
Kid Icarus is one of the best games Nintendo ever developed, but it was underappreciated at the time it came out because of more popular games like Metroid and Legend of Zelda. The similarities between Pit and Durant start with their baby faces. They look innocent and young, but they could take you out in a heartbeat. Pit had a bow and arrow and was lethal from deep just like Durant. Pit also could fly, and it sometimes seems that Durant has that same ability. Unfortunately it was tough to come by wins in Kid Icarus because of the difficulty of the game, so it isn't as fondly remembered. The same may be said for Durant, a lot of ability and tools but no wins on which to look back.
Mega Man = Chris Paul
Mega Man and Chris Paul are both diminutive in stature but pack a huge punch. They both are tough to beat and refuse to lose. They also both wear light blue which only becomes intimidating because they are wearing it. Their biggest similarity is the steal. Paul steals the ball at least once per game sometimes 8 or 9 times. Mega Man steals the abilities of his opponents and can use them in later battles. The Mega Man games can also be very tough for the uninitiated, and Paul might be the toughest guy in the league.
The Dog (Duck Hunt) = Bruce Bowen
At this point of his career Bruce Bowen serves no other purpose than to needle and enrage his opponents. The dog in Duck Hunt served no other purpose than to laugh at you when missed the ducks. Both are known more for pissing people off than anything else.
Link (Legend of Zelda) = Tim Duncan
The Legend of Zelda games are arguably the best games Nintendo has released just like Duncan is arguably the best player in the league. Duncan and Link aren't the most recognizable heroes in their respective worlds, but they are arguably the best. They have more tools than any other character and are more consistent than any other player/character. It takes a thinking man to appreciate what both bring to the table. No matter what they do or their supporting cast, they always find a way to pull out the victory against seemingly unbeatable opponents.
Donkey Kong = Dwight Howard
Look no further than the arms. Both Howard and Kong have massive biceps and shoulders that are unrealistically huge. They also both lack a lot of polish, and they exhibit brute force which overpowers their opponents. They also have the uncanny ability to attack their opponents from above. Donkey Kong hurls barrels at Mario from a raised perch while Howard hurls basketballs at the hoop from ten to twelve feet above any defender. Sure they could work on some finesse, but why bother? They can easily dominate without it.
Bowser (Super Mario Bros) = Shaquille O'Neal
Shaq started out as a dominant force in his early career. He had ridiculous athleticism and seemed to be an unbeatable force. Bowser (or King Koopa) was the main boss in four of the first five Super Mario Bros games, and he was always tough. No matter what you did, the end of every game was a showdown with Bowser, and every time the playoffs rolled around Shaq always seemed to be the last one standing. Over the last few years both have been more comic relief than anything else, but I'll always remember the destruction they caused in the early parts of their careers.
Luigi (Mario Br os) = Kobe Bryant
Before people scream at the top of their lungs about how Kobe is no Luigi and he is Mario material, hear me out. Luigi is just as good if not better than Mario. In the first few Mario Bros games he was actually the exact same character dressed in green. The biggest similarity between the two is that Kobe has yet to shake his second-banana status. He was always the sidekick on the championship Lakers' teams even though he was as important to their success. The only time Kobe has had a starring role was with a bad version of the franchise much like the horrible Luigi's Mansion game. Kobe is just as good as the best players in the league and even has attributes that others would dream of, but he needs to come through on his own to shake Luigi status.
Mario (Mario Bros) = LeBron James
There is no doubt that LeBron is the NBA's Mario. Certain players have held the mantle at different times, but he holds it now. LeBron is the face of the league and instantly recognizable with even non-NBA fans. Mario is the most recognizable video game character in the history of the gaming; even non-gamers know his face. LeBron is also arguable the best player in the league, and it seems like he will be for many years to come. He may even have Mario-like longevity when it comes to success and popularity. Both Mario and LeBron vie to not only be the best in their own game but also branch out to other ventures. Whether it is clothing lines or refereeing boxing matches. Hopefully LeBron has it in him to take on the red cap and overalls and win it all.
Do you have any disagreements or suggestions for other player/video game character combos? Comment below. If you don't mind, I have to get back to my game of Double Dribble.
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