| 26 January 2009
Week 14 Power Rankings
1. Boston Celtics | Record: 37-9 | Previous Rank: 3rd | Last Week: 3-0
Upcoming Schedule: SAC, at DET, MIN
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: Here's a little known fact about reserve guard, Eddie House: Eddie House has never had possession of a basketball. Before he can actually posses the ball, he has already released it and sent it flying towards the net. He seriously doesn't do anything noteworthy on the court other than shoot jumpers. Is that really so hard to remember for opposing defenses? -- Zach Harper
2. Los Angeles Lakers | Record: 35-8 | Previous Rank: 2nd | Last Week: 3-0
Upcoming Schedule: CHA, at MIN, at MEM, at NY
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: Our power rankings are a lot like starting college. We try to reinvent ourselves and experiment with new things, but ultimately we're right back where we started swearing off tequila and crawling back to the Lakers. -- Brandon Gallawa
3. Cleveland Cavaliers | Record: 34-8 | Previous Rank: 4th | Last Week: 3-0
Upcoming Schedule: SAC, at ORL, LAC, at DET
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: Is LeBron James the most over-hyped commercial maker of all-time? His Four LeBrons commercials were weak and had the comedic value of Dane Cook (a lot of hype with no substance to base it off of). His chalk commercial was only watchable because of the song used and completely defied the physical makeup of that substance. And his Cleveland Browns one isn't even worth slowing down the TiVo fast forward. Am I missing something here? -- Zach Harper
4. San Antonio Spurs | Record: 29-14 | Previous Rank: 5th | Last Week: 2-1
Upcoming Schedule: at UTH, at PHX, NOH, at GS
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: The double-digit loss to the Lakers is a bad start to their January close out. If they put anything less than 3 wins this week, I will not consider them legit. -- Brandon Gallawa
5. Orlando Magic | Record: 33-10 | Previous Rank: 1st | Last Week: 0-2
Upcoming Schedule: IND, CLE, at TOR, DAL
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: This team had two things that they needed to accomplish this week to stay in the Top Four of our Power Rankings -- compete with the Celtics and beat the Heat. Well, instead they decided to crap the bed against the Celtics and get beaten by Dwyane Wade and Mario Chalmers. Now, please tell me that this team is capable of winning a title this year. I'm waiting. -- Zach Harper
6. New Orleans Hornets | Record: 27-14 | Previous Rank: 6th | Last Week: 2-1
Upcoming Schedule: DEN, GS, at SA, POR
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: I love Chris Paul and the Peja heads, but I may be growing to hate the Hornets. They lose winnable games then blow out good teams and follow that up by being blown out themselves. Nonetheless they are a top ten team which is all the more frustrating. -- Brandon Gallawa
7. Denver Nuggets | Record: 29-15 | Previous Rank: 7th | Last Week: 2-0
Upcoming Schedule: at MEM, at NOH, CHA
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: I don't like J.R. Smith as much as the next guy (George Karl) and I think that his approach to the game is immature and the wrong message to impressionable kids. But making him split time with someone like Dahntay Jones is just rude and malicious. At least bring back Jeff Trepagnier for that role. -- Zach Harper
8. Houston Rockets | Record: 28-18 | Previous Rank: 9th | Last Week: 2-2
Upcoming Schedule: PHI, GS
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: Tracy McGrady and Ron Artest are back from injury just in time to watch Yao go down. This team is in desperate need of a faith healer or they should just change their name to the Houston IR. -- Brandon Gallawa
9. Atlanta Hawks | Record: 26-18 | Previous Rank: 12th | Last Week: 2-2
Upcoming Schedule: at NY, NJ, at MIL
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: If you take away the inconsistency on the road, give this team homecourt advantage through the first round of the playoffs, give them a motivated Josh Smith and a healthy Al Horford, and they get solid production in the playoffs from the bench then do you know what that means? Exactly. Mike Bibby's still a dick. -- Zach Harper
10. Portland Trailblazers | Record: 27-17 | Previous Rank: 10th | Last Week: 2-1
Upcoming Schedule: CHA, UTH, at NOH
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: One thing that worries me about the Blazers: They are essentially a .500 team against the West and only 6-10 against the West's playoff teams. They can't be taken too seriously until they improve on that record. -- Brandon Gallawa
11. Phoenix Suns | Record: 25-18 | Previous Rank: 11th | Last Week: 2-2
Upcoming Schedule: SA, CHI, SAC
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: I look at this year's version of the Phoenix Suns as I look at a new Ford Mustang. On paper, it looks like it would be a fun, exciting car. It goes really fast. It has great horsepower. It has a new sleek design to transition owners (fans) from the older look that they loved to a new vision in sports cars. But it's still made by Ford so it's going to fall apart and you can only get away with driving it if you're a chick. -- Zach Harper
12. Utah Jazz | Record: 25-20 | Previous Rank: 8th | Last Week: 1-3
Upcoming Schedule: SA, OKC, at POR, CHA
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: I'm well aware that the Jazz are missing key players. I just can't believe that a Jerry Sloan team with this much talent is out of the playoffs at this point even accounting for injuries. -- Brandon Gallawa
13. Miami Heat | Record: 24-19 | Previous Rank: 15th | Last Week: 2-1
Upcoming Schedule: WSH, at IND, DAL, LAC
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: Want to know why Michael Beasley will never live up to the hype? Because he's the same size as Kenny Thomas. I know that Beasley is listed at 6'9" so people don't think that he's actually 6'7" but Jose Juan Barea is listed at 6'0" tall and he's no bigger than an Olsen twin. -- Zach Harper
14. Detroit Pistons | Record: 24-19 | Previous Rank: 13th | Last Week: 1-2
Upcoming Schedule: at MIN, BOS, CLE
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: The Pistons are going to end up making me look foolish. I picked them to win the East, but now I wouldn't be surprised if they were swept out of the first round. At least they're a top 5 team in the East, so good for them. -- Brandon Gallawa
15. Dallas Mavericks | Record: 25-19 | Previous Rank: 14th | Last Week: 1-2
Upcoming Schedule: GS, at MIA, at ORL
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: The more and more that I look over Erick Dampier's stats over his long career, the more and more I think that his contract is way over his value. I have confidence and conviction in saying that even if everybody else disagrees with me. -- Zach Harper
16. Philadelphia 76ers | Record: 21-22 | Previous Rank: 16th | Last Week: 1-1
Upcoming Schedule: at HOU, WSH, NJ
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: The Sixers have been rolling all month. They are shooting 44% from three this month and making 3 more per game in January than the rest of the year. The key to their success will be to keep shooting threes and bringing Brand off the bench. -- Brandon Gallawa
17. New Jersey Nets | Record: 20-25| Previous Rank: 18th | Last Week: 1-3
Upcoming Schedule: TOR, at ATL, at PHI
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: Brook Lopez is one of the top ranked offensive rookies this year but he's behind Rudy Fernnandez on grasp of the English language. If I had to come up with one thing to run late at nights on NBA TV for comedic value, it would be Brook Lopez reading The Audacity of Hope. -- Zach Harper
18. Milwaukee Bucks | Record: 22-26 | Previous Rank: 17th | Last Week: 2-2
Upcoming Schedule: at IND, at TOR, ATL
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: The injury to Michael Redd has effectively ended their season. It was good while it lasted Skiles. The draft lottery just wouldn't have been the same without the Bucks. -- Brandon Gallawa
19. Chicago Bulls | Record: 18-27 | Previous Rank: 19th | Last Week: 0-3
Upcoming Schedule: at LAC, at SAC, at PHX
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: Let me give you the number of talented players on the Bulls' roster -- one. It's Derrick Rose. Luol Deng is probably the worst contract in sports now. Ben Gordon is a nice scorer but doesn't do much else. And their forward rotation is about as strong as the guys on the And 1 Mixtape Tour. Bring back Jerry Krause! -- Zach Harper
20. Charlotte Bobcats | Record: 18-26 | Previous Rank: 21st | Last Week: 2-1
Upcoming Schedule: at LAL, at POR, at DEN, at UTH
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: I'm jumping on the Bob's Bandwagon. This team is going to make the playoffs this year and shock the world. Shock it so much that people in New Zealand are going to start rocking the orange and blue. Why New Zealand? Why not? -- Brandon Gallawa
21. New York Knicks | Record: 19-25 | Previous Rank: 20th | Last Week: 3-1
Upcoming Schedule: ATL, at IND, LAL
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: Danillo Gallinari will be the most hated man in fantasy basketball because he's stealing minutes away from Wilson Chandler. Nate Robinson will be the most hated man on Valentine's Day because he'll ruin the dunk contest. And Stephon Marbury is the most hated man in New York because he's ignorant. -- Zach Harper
22. Indiana Pacers | Record: 17-27 | Previous Rank: 24th | Last Week: 2-1
Upcoming Schedule: at ORL, MIL, MIA, NY
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: The Pacers are going to play the role of that guy at the bar who is friends with the girl you're trying to get with. He ruins your game all night and lets some other jerk take her home. Basically look forward to them spoiling a lot of guys' nights. -- Brandon Gallawa
23. Minnesota Timberwolves | Record: 16-27 | Previous Rank: 22nd | Last Week: 3-1
Upcoming Schedule: DET, LAL, at BOS
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: Kevin McHale is like an evil hypnotist who touches kids at the end of performances. That's how all Wolves fans feel and this winning streak that kills our draft position is justifying it. -- Zach Harper
24. Toronto Raptors | Record: 18-28 | Previous Rank: 23rd | Last Week: 2-1
Upcoming Schedule: at NJ, MIL, ORL
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: Bold prediction: Canada will give the US the Raptors in exchange for returning the Quebec Nordiques and the Winnipeg Jets to the proper NHL cities. -- Brandon Gallawa
25. Golden State Warriors | Record: 14-31 | Previous Rank: 25th | Last Week: 1-2
Upcoming Schedule: at DAL, at NOH, at HOU, SA
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: Monta Ellis is back to give Warriors fans false hope. How deep into this contract is it going to go until the franchise realizes that he's not suitable to be a point guard? Three years? Four? How long until fans realize this? Next season? -- Zach Harper
26. Oklahoma City Thunder | Record: 10-35 | Previous Rank: 28th | Last Week: 2-1
Upcoming Schedule: MEM, at UTH, at SAC
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: The Thunder need to win 2 of their next 3 to have a .500 month. It's all about making progress. From atrocious lottery team that is hard to watch to atrocious lottery team that can be entertaining on most nights. -- Brandon Gallawa
27. Memphis Grizzlies | Record: 11-32 | Previous Rank: 26th | Last Week: 0-3
Upcoming Schedule: DEN, at OKC, LAL, at WSH
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: The Grizzlies-Lionel Hollins love affair continues. This is now his third stint with the Grizzlies franchise as the head coach. Lionel Hollins is essentially a battered woman who keeps re-marrying her abusive and drunk husband. Now if the husband can go to counseling, sober up, and put together a roster worth contending, then maybe the bruises will heal. -- Zach Harper
28. Sacramento Kings | Record: 10-35 | Previous Rank: 27th | Last Week: 0-4
Upcoming Schedule: at CLE, at BOS, CHI, OKC, at PHX
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: There was a story last week about Beno Udrih losing his confidence as the reason why he has underperformed. I would say it has more to do with being overpaid and not being very good in the first place but its all how you look at it. -- Brandon Gallawa
29. Washington Wizards | Record: 9-35 | Previous Rank: 29th | Last Week: 1-3
Upcoming Schedule: at MIA, at PHI, LAC, MEM
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: If you were to compile the worst starting five in the NBA based on players that are currently starting for their teams, Mike James would be a lock to run the point. How is he still in the NBA? -- Zach Harper
30. Los Angeles Clippers | Record: 10-34 | Previous Rank: 30th | Last Week: 1-3
Upcoming Schedule: CHI, at CLE, at WSH, at MIA
Potentially Inflammatory Comments: In these tough economic times, how can the Clippers afford to keep paying Mike Dunleavy $5 million per year to mishandle both a GM and a coaching position? -- Brandon Gallawa
Every Tuesday during the regular season, Talkhoops.net will update the power rankings based on team production, record, record from the previous week, injuries to the team, and overall talent on the team. If your team has dropped siginificantly from week to week then you probably are rooting for a pretty bad team. If your team is shooting up the power rankings towards the top spot, then you are probably either rooting for a pretty good team or jumping on the bandwagon of one.
The rankings are based solely on the opinions of Zach Harper and Brandon Gallawa. If you happen to disagree, you can email Zach and Brandon and let them know how dumb they are by sending an email to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . If you think that Zach and Brandon are geniuses with their rankings and want to stroke their egos, email them at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
Remember to check back for updated rankings every Tuesday morning when the regular season begins.
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