| 20 May 2009
- I don't really want to go too much into the NBA Draft Lottery show because frankly, it's an NBA Draft Lottery show and who gives a damn? But I'd like to officially announce that the John Wall tankapalooza is on the clock. Kings fans were truly depressed and upset at the fact that they missed out on Blake Griffin, Hasheem Thabeet and Ricky Rubio but now they get to cheer their team to lose games again next season in order to get the best chance at landing John Wall. You might remember him here.
- I hate people on their phones behind the announcers. I mean, how is that cool and/or funny to be in the background while announcers are trying to do their job and you're on the phone with someone who flat out doesn't want to be having this conversation with you:
Douche on the phone - "Hey, I'm right behind the announcers. Can you see me on TV?"
Person hating to be on the phone - "Ya, I see you. There you are."
Douche on the phone - "Am I still on there? I told you it would be worth it to have these seats. Am I still on TV?"
Person wishing they had let it go to voicemail - "Yep, you're still there."
Douche on the phone - "I'm going to make a funny face. Tell me if you see me do it."
Person thinking about dropping their phone into the dog's water bowl - "I saw. That's funny. Well... I probably should be getting back to doing these dishes."
Stop acting like some trashy low life who thinks that it's cool that he's acting behind the announcers!
- I can't tell the difference between Adam from the Real World/Road Rules Duel and Dahntay Jones. I honestly can't. And it's not even that they look the same because they really don't. They just have the same disposition that they think they matter far more in this world than they actually do. I could totally see Kenyon Martin and Dahntay Jones having the same fight that CT and Adam had in the first episode of the Duel 2 because K-Mart thinks that Dahntay told Chris Anderson that Kenyon and Linas Kleiza were having sex on the roof.
- Is Carmelo Anthony the only guy that double pumps on a rebound? Has anybody else noticed this? When Melo is all alone and skies for a rebound, he grabs the ball and then pumps it to the corner of the glass before bringing it into his body. What's the point of that? Is that like the rebounding equivalent of Corey Maggette slapping the backboard after a dunk as his man beats him down the court for an easy two?
- Carmelo Anthony bandwagon is officially over capacity. At this point in the game, he has just hit a three-pointer to give him 14 points in the first quarter. He's battling Kobe Bryant, abusing Trevor Ariza, and making every NBA on-air pundit re-write their halftime speech to make it seem like they were ready to talk about his growth, maturity, and gravitation towards being the next star. I can't remember a player who was able to fill up his own bandwagon so quickly then lose everybody on it and have it fill back up past capacity in his first six seasons.
- Dahntay Jones' tactics don't work against guys his size or bigger. I praised Dahntay during the opening round because he seemed to be legitimately getting into the head of Chris Paul. He was physical, quick, and more physical with Paul and it gave the Hornets problems getting into their offensive sets early. Guess who those tactics don't work against? Guys bigger than 6'0" and 175 pounds. It especially doesn't work against someone like Kobe Bryant who will just hit you back because he knows that he's a star and won't get called for that foul.
- George Karl is built like Leguizamo from Spawn. I'm going to keep writing this until it becomes a widely known fact. George Karl is built just like the evil clown character that John Leguizamo plays in the movie Spawn.
- There was a big swing early on in the game that gave the Lakers more hope than an early Denver burst would have liked to have given them. Towards the end of the first quarter, Chauncey Billups pulled up for a three on a fast break that was the type of shot to demoralize the opponent early on and try to break any semblance of a chance they might have in this game. Instead, it clanged off the iron and the ball moved quickly the other way and Luke Walton found a wide-open three from Sasha Vujacic. Instead of a 32-17 lead with less than a minute to go in the first quarter, the Lakers stole back the momentum in cutting the lead to 29-20 when it was in danger of getting out of hand. There was still 36 minutes of basketball left but that was a big miss and an even bigger make.
- Does anybody remember the Chevy Chase version of The Man Without a Face? It's a story of a guy that goes through some freak occurrence and because of it, he's now invisible? So when he's being chased by people he has to take off his clothes and either wipe off the face makeup or take off the wrap he had around his face so that no one can see him. Well, that reminds me of Andrew Bynum. Has anybody really seen this guy at all on a basketball court? I can think of probably 10 to 15 centers that I'd rather have over the next three years than this guy. It's time for you to put your clothes and makeup back on, Andrew, and show yourself to the world.
- Carmelo wants to guard Kobe. The bandwagon is starting to crack. Seriously, it's one thing for Carmelo to be coming through with all of these points in the Western Conference Finals while challenging the top team in the West. It's another thing to then ask to guard Kobe Bryant to shut him down. The bandwagon is now cracking because their is too much weight for the axels. This is usually when things go bad in Oregon Trail.
- Why is Anthony Carter in the league? I don't think I need to elaborate on this any further.
- Andrew Bynum, what would you say YOU DO here? Seriously, he doesn't rebound. He doesn't block shots. He doesn't score in the post unless another player has drawn three defenders and Andrew is left under the basket. WHAT DO YOU DO?
- I'm seriously considering the notion that Josh Powell will have a better career than Bynum. Some can say that I'm being way too hard on a young center but you get a lot better and more consistent play from Josh Powell and he doesn't cost you a 10-figure salary.
- Andrew Bynum has played SO poorly that I'm going to name all of the centers in the league that are better than him. In no particular order: Dwight Howard, Yao Ming, Andris Biedrins, Andrew Bogut, Marcus Camby, Tim Duncan, Kendrick Perkins, Andrea Bargnani, Tyson Chandler, Marcin Gortat, Brendan Haywood, Al Jefferson, Nene, Chris Kaman, Zyndrunas Ilgauskas, Brook Lopez, Greg Oden, Joakim Noah, Brad Miller, Emeka Okafor, Shaq, and Joel Pryzbilla.
- If Kobe didn't think Shane Battier could guard him, what the hell does he think of Dahntay Jones?
- Derek Fisher three to end the half is the type of play that the Lakers used to break the backs of opponents with. If that's a regular occurrence again then just hand the Lakers the trophy.
- Kobe and Melo jockeying for position reminds me of the episode in Seinfeld when Kramer and Mickey (the little person actor) go on a double blind date but can't decide which girl they want to date. So when Kramer tries to sit in the booth, Mickey
- Is it just me or does Carmelo look a lot happier and in better shape since he cut off his hair?
- There was a certain play in the third quarter when Trevor Ariza stole ball took it down the court and passed it to a trailing Derek Fisher who laid the ball in over the front of the rim. Carmelo Anthony trailed him on the play but was definitely in a position to make a play for a blocked shot. Instead, he let the lay-up go uncontested. And that's what separates guys like Carmelo from guys like Kobe and LeBron. They would have blocked that shot. Carmelo didn't have the defensive determination.
- I'd love to hear the Kobe dislikers (officially boycotting the word hater) try to disparage his effort and production in this game. I REALLY would. What did he do wrong in this game besides lead his team to victory like he's supposed to? Let's hear it.
- Right after I type that note, Kobe gets a technical foul for arguing a good no-call. Never mind.
- It still astounds me that Shannon Brown is getting meaningful minutes in a playoff game. Free Jordan Farmar!
- Kobe hurts his finger on a collision. Remember when he had the hurt pinky that needed surgery? What happened to that story?
- Don't see Get Smart. I watched it the other day and it's truly an awful movie that has no redeeming qualities. Anne Hathaway's hotness can't even save it.
- Mark Jackson surprised us with the Momma There Goes catch phrase. 2.5 hours into the broadcast surprised me. I really had forgotten about it and then he busts it out. That's how they get you.
- Chauncey Billups is still scary. He had a dickish grin on his face after he hit a huge three over Pau Gasol to put the Nuggets up 99-97. It was a look of "check out my championship ring next time you see me out." It's shots like that which make him impossible to bury.
- Trevor Ariza closes on the ball like Deion Sanders in his day. He really does. George Karl and Phil Jackson both talked about that inbounds steal at the end of the play being because Anthony Carter lofted it too much. But Ariza just has that kind of closing speed that gets you into the NFL Hall of Fame and paid so much on the NFL Network that the league has to fire 50 people just so they can pay your salary in these hard economic times.
- The reason that I had spouted off on Twitter (follow me) that I thought the Lakers would win this series in five games is because of the match-up problems that the Lakers give the Nuggets. If Trevor Ariza is having a hard time on Carmelo Anthony, they can switch Ariza to guarding Billups and put Kobe on Melo. It's that kind of defensive versatility against the Nuggets best players that gives the Lakers an advantage in close games like this. I think all of these games will be uber-competitive but the Lakers will win it in five.
- Lamar Odom's vest at the post-game press conference is definitely something that he found in the To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar wardrobe purge.
Embedded video from NBA Video
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