| 08 September 2009
I'm back from Australia. And yet, I'm sad.
Sure, I'm sad because I got to spend 10 incredible days with my sister and her family and was able to bond with my two tiny nieces like I hoped that I would. But that's not what this post is about. I'm also sad about stuff pertaining basketball.
More specifically, I'm sad about stuff pertaining to the Minnesota Timberwolves, a team that has captivated my heart for 20 years and yet, has been able to infuriate and frustrate me for longer than I care to recall.
I was skeptical of David Kahn when I first heard the dark side of his history in basketball. Some of you may remember my reaction to his hiring.
But eventually, I decided to give him a second chance, wipe away the leftover dirt and grime from the Kevin McHale VPofBO era, and put my psyche in the proper state of trepidatious optimism for the draft in June. And then Ricky Rubio fell to the Wolves at the fifth pick, Kahn immediately scooped him up and I began to let my thoughts run wild with imagination of what a Rubio-Jefferson combo could mean to this franchise.
And then the redeconstruction of my beloved T'Wolves instantly began again.
Jonny Flynn was taken with the very next pick.
And then, Ty Lawson was selected and then traded.
It was a point guard orgy and every young male under 6'5", listed on Draft Express was invited.
It seemed unlikely from the start that Rubio would be happy playing with Flynn in a city that few players seem willing to embrace. Nobody wants to completely alter their life and have to fight for minutes. That isn't today's youth and that isn't today's America. Rubio wasn't going to come here.
Then, Rubix Cube seemed destined to be the ultimate c**k-tease with all of these tails of buyouts happening, then not happening, then happening again up until the point that it could be reversed and they wouldn't be happening anymore...
It was basically the equivalent of going clothes shopping with Andy Eisner, our resident cynic on the Weekly Fix podcast. Shopping for socks with Andy is possibly the most frustrating thing that anybody could ever go through. Think a divorce with a vengeful ex-wife and a greedy lawyer is rough on your patience and tolerance? Try standing next to Andy for 45 minutes in the basement of Macy's as he tries to decide whether or not he wants gold-toed socks. THAT'S what the Rubio situation has been like.
Follow that with a personal favorite of mine (Craig Smith) being dealt so the Wolves could acquire Quentin "Qlamydia" Richardson, only so that the Wolves could re-acquire one of my least favorite players in franchise history, Mark Blount. It's safe to say that this hasn't been my favorite off-season.
But wait, WE'RE NOT DONE HERE!
Kahn follows this up with Kurt Rambis being hired as the head coach. Kurt Rambis is probably a nice guy. He's probably going to be an okay coach. But I wasn't impressed when he took over the Lakers job all those years ago and I doubt he'll be the type of coach that bring the Wolves back to being a perennial playoff contender. Elston Turner would have been my first choice because he's far overdue a head coaching spot and he would ensure that this Wolves team is defensively sound (which is exactly what you want when you're dealing with a future frontcourt of Al Jefferson and Kevin Love... not exactly Duncan and Robinson).
So I left for Australia with the assumption that the Wolves were set for now and wouldn't be able to do anything to frustrate me before training camp and Al Jefferson starts feeling some sort of clicking in his knee.
But I was wrong. Oh. So. Wrong.
Rambis and Kahn added some people to the coaching staff. Who did he add? Bill Laimbeer and Reggie Theus.
Are you F*%&ING kidding me?
I actually don't really mind Laimbeer because he'll be a good interim coach when Rambis is fired in year three of his contract. I think Laimbeer is likely to be a fine NBA head coach when he finally gets the opportunity because he seemed to be decent enough in the WNBA. But why would you ever give Reggie Theus another job in the NBA?
Was Eric Musselman not willing to give up his senseless quote-mongering on Twitter to join the staff? Was Tim Floyd unwilling to give up his ATM service at USC (Sorry, Phillip)? Were Mike Montgomery and Garry St. Jean too busy with their game of Risk to be bothered to join another pro coaching staff?
Why hire Reggie Theus? He's incompetent. It's not even that he isn't very good at his job or that he was possibly in a lose-lose situation with the Kings. His NBA coaching IQ would get him placed in the special ed classes at school. What is he going to help the T'Wolves players do?
Does Kevin Love need to learn how to properly check himself out in the mirror?
Does Corey Brewer need to know how to completely suck the fun out of basketball?
Do we really need Jonny Flynn to learn how to sleep with other players' wives?
Does Oleksiy Pecherov need to learn how to semi-successfully pull off a jheri curl?
Throw in the fact that Ricky Rubio found a way out of his contract with DKV Jovenut and decided to pick more Euro-ball over fulfilling his life long dream of playing in the NBA because he really doesn't want to play in Minnesota when it's all said and done and I feel like the ship is on fire and nobody cares.
Don't tell me things are looking up because Ramon Sessions might find himself with a four-year deal in Minnesota. Sessions is a nice player and a fantasy player's wet dream in the final meaningless month of a season but he isn't the point guard of the future. Ricky Rubio is supposed to be that guy. And yet, I get the feeling that he'll never log a single minute of play on the floor with Minnesota. Kahn still has the upper hand and can play extreme hardball with Rubio until he's forced to either be a Wolf or be banished to Europe forever. But I don't trust things to work out in terms of personnel for this franchise. They really never seem to go the way we want. It turns me into a selfish, bratty kid at Toys'R'Us.
I don't want Ramon Sessions. I want Ricky Rubio. And I want him now.
Thanks, David Kahn. You've turned me into Veruca Salt.
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