| 08 March 2011
Since I began writing for Talkhoops.net, I’ve always wanted to find a way to pay homage to George Carlin in one of my posts. Now, I realize we’re talking about a man who once suggested that the NBA would be more interesting if the league incorporated ideas such as “a two-second shot clock, a gasoline fire at half court, and 25-points for baskets made off of another players head,” but nonetheless, the man was a genius. Up until now, I could never find a way to tie my all-time favorite comedian to the Association, but I think I’ve figured it out…see if you can stick with me here, folks. One of the things Carlin liked to do in his shows was complain. “It’s kind of a motif for me…and of course, this weird culture we live in leaves you no shortage of things to complain about.” So this post will be fairly simple, it’s just a list of recent NBA-related subjects that piss me off.
Chicago fans crediting Derrick Rose for every single Bulls victory.
Disclaimer: I’m a Chicagoan, ‘till Chicago ends, ‘till we blow like Chicago wind. That said, I absolutely love what Rose brings to the table each and every night. However, let’s not be so crazy as to think he’s winning these games by himself…which is the impression you’d get if you check out any generic Facebook or Twitter status after any Bulls win. Yes, Rose has been fantastic this season. However, the Bulls have been winning games as a team, not as a superstar-ran group of players. Here’s my breakdown of who’s responsible for Chicago’s outstanding season thus far:
Rose: 25% of their success…coincidentally, my quick estimate comes out to be right around D-Rose’s Win Shares / Chicago’s wins…weird, right?
Deng: 15%...he can ball, why doesn't anyone listen.
Noah’s Hair: 13%
Booz: 12%
Role/bench Players: 15%
Thibs and his incredible defensive schemes: 20%
Scalabrine: 10%...that's right, he gives them that extra 10% that puts them over the top.
Again, Rose has been fantastic. I won’t argue you there. But for the love of God, please remember how important Deng, Noah, Booz, and most importantly, Coach Thibs have been to the Bulls success so far.
Using the “look at Cleveland’s season” argument as a way to validate Lebron’s MVP candidacy.
If I hear one more person say “Lebron should be the MVP, Cleveland went from first in the league to dead last once he left,” I will no longer be watching the NBA. Cleveland’s dreadful season has as much to do with Lebron’s MVP candidacy as the price of tea in China (my dad used that line against me in 2,425 arguments growing up…now it’s my turn). I don’t care how Cleveland is doing, Lebron took his talents elsewhere. So while he is having a great season in Miami, let’s not try and validate his year by comparing Cleveland’s records with and without Lebron…spare me.
John Wall’s incredible rookie season being completely overshadowed by that dude who dunks on everyone.
By now, I think I understand what’s going on. I had been picking up on all of the clues, and then DIME magazine made it obvious when they released a cover with a headline, “BLAKE GRIFFIN: He will find you, and he will dunk on you.” That’s when everything came full-circle for me. That Griffin dude is good. He can ball. He will win Rookie of the Year in a landslide. I understand, and accept all of that.
However, in the process of learning how good Blake is, I think the casual fan is forgetting just how special John Wall is. Now admittedly, I really only like Wall because Troop 41’s song about the J. Wall dance is insanely catchy. However, I’m not so oblivious to look past how great of a season the kid who invented the simplest dance move of all-time is having. Think about this for a second:
- He’s on pace to be just the fifth rookie to average over 15 points and 8 assists per game.
- He’s approaching 9 assists per game…on the Wizards. We could probably prorate that to about 11 assists per game if we put him on a real NBA team. Sorry, Wizards fans.
- He’s shown flashes of outstanding defensive ability, and is swiping about 1.6 steal per game.
- He can do “the John Wall,” wherever he goes.
The Knicks on schedule to be the toughest 6-seed in NBA history…unless the Heat draw the third seed, then it’s all fun and games.
This grievance still has a TBD sign next to it. Like the title says, if Miami draws the third seed, that series against New York in the first round will be all types of epic. However, if someone such as Chicago, Orlando, or even Boston finds their way into that third seed; well, they just don’t deserve a matchup with the Knickerbockers in round one. Picture this scenario: you work hard everyday of the season, go out and win 55+ games, and land the third seed in a packed top-tier of the Eastern Conference. For all that hard work, you’re rewarded by having to figure out how to contain Amare and Carmelo for a 7 game series. Just. Not. Fair.
Anyone who called Mike Bibby “the final piece,” for Miami.
Put simply, if you or anyone you know made this claim (and I do know people who still believe he was the missing piece), stop watching the NBA immediately. You’re better off coloring, trust me.
Fans who constantly confuse the role that defense plays in an NBA game.
Figure this one out: In the past week, I’ve heard fans complain about how there is “no defense being played in the NBA,” which is why they watch college instead. Or, how “defense wins championships in the association…always has, always will.” Then these same people turn right around, and are willing to pronounce Derrick Rose as the best point guard in the NBA, or remind us that players such as Chris Bosh, Monta Ellis, Carmelo Anthony, and Amare Stoudemire are incredible all-around players, and not just scorers.
Make up your mind people. You either believe defense is an essential part of the game, or you don’t. Actually, I’ll rephrase. You either know what matters in the NBA, or you’re ignorant. Sorry, it’s just the way it is.
Crying in an NBA locker room.
I agree with the Zen Master on this one…"This is the NBA: No Boys Allowed," Phil Jackson said. "Big boys don't cry. But, if you're going to do it, do it in the toilet where no one can see.” Grow up, Heatles.
ESPN trusting Zach Harper’s opinion over mine for the nightly DDL…ridiculous choice.
This one is self-explanatory…Harper? Really?
This is where the concluding paragraph is supposed to go, but I've made myself too upset to think of anything clever to insert here. As Chappelle would say in the Player Haters Ball, "Hate, hate, hate, hate." That is all.
